DEEM'S CORNER

DING DONG

2004-12-08T11:49:00.000+08:00

dear friends who constantly visit my site despite its stagnation of entries and its anitiquity in design,

i am itching to write ever since God knows when. but this pesky virus in my computer which has gotten me into a very big internet-telephone-budget trouble prevents me to do so. ever since it made my beloved pc its humble abode, PLDT (via its billing statement) reported that i have made a LOT of calls to the netherlands for the past 2 months. for pete's sake, who am i gonna call there??? sheesh. turns out that this smart dialer virus is the culprit. lucky me made the telephone company two thousand bucks richer, and my self two thousand bucks poorer. gad. and for the past year and a half i thought my monthly phone bill of 700 pesos, long distance calls to davao and the us included, was already too much for my mini pocket. what's worse is that i couldn't get the virus out of the pc without me reformatting the system. reformat i can't do for now, the pc housing my countless important files. hence, i couldn't do anything but limit my connection to the internet for 5 minutes a day, just enough to check my mail. instances like this really pains someone who tries so hard to stretch her limited baon for everyday food, innumerable house bills and gazillion school photox. someone like me. argh.

sige hanggang dito nalang muna. i'm gonna write and visit blogs soon. soon as i get my hands on that virus... grrrr... very soon.

'til then!

mika

ps. thank you very very much for visiting and keeping this abandoned site alive! i owe you! heheheh... =)

A SECOND HOLE

2004-10-08T21:49:00.000+08:00

This is day 4 of my unofficial vacation. Out of sheer boredom and desperation to do "something", I planned to have a second earring hole pierced. And after what seemed like a minute (or was that a second?) of thinking, I went straight to Unisilver and got that piercing for my right ear. Whoa! Amazing. I never thought I'd be that fast a decision maker. Label my wacky way of thinking "twisted", but I put the blame for this hasty little act of mine to my hunger for innovation. My burning desire for CHANGE. Change. It's healthy once in a while. A necessity for survival, really. To spice up naman my monotonous life.

Hell, I still can't believe I went this far. People who know me since childhood think it's unlikely for me to do something like this, on my own. But I just did! Pagbabago nga naman oh... It's such a nice feeling to break free from the bondage of expectations.

(Thanks nga pala to pareng Syaza for getting an earring hole with me. =))

After some time of appreciating my new piercing in the mirror, my conscience suddenly spits me this guilt-full question: Alam ba yan ng mommy at daddy mo?!

Hala. Mika kaya mo yan.

WARMTH, WHY DO I FEEL COLD?

2004-09-25T15:53:00.000+08:00

THE WARMTH
Incubus

I'd like to close my eyes and go numb
But there's a cold wind coming from
The top of the highest high rise today
Its not a breeze cuz it blows hard
Yes and it wants me to discard the
The humanity I know, watched the warmth blow away
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
So do you think I should adhere
To that pressing new frontier
And leave in my wake, a trail of fear
Should I hold my head up high
And throw a wrench and spokes by
I'm leaving the air behind me clear
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
So don't let the world bring you down
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
Remember why you came and while you're alive
Experience the warmth before you grow old
Before you grow old

That pretty well expresses my feelings for today. I'm trying hard to convince myself there's no use in feeling f*cked up about the world. Yet ang hirap.

Galit ako since kahapon. Ano ba kasi?! What's the deal with people nowadays?! Are they f*cked up about their own lives, and by acting the way they do, they make others also feel bulled about their lives as well?!

Reflexes dare me to curse. But this song says I'm worth more than that. I'm still sane, yes. But I'm on the verge of giving in to insanity's clutches. Konti na lang. So please naman, could people just be sensitive enough to care about each others' feelings???!!! PLEASE???!!! For my sanity's sake?!

To whoever you are: you're one of my closest friends, and I won't ever give up on you. It's just that I'm so tired of trying to decipher what's on your mind nowadays! I'm so tired of even trying to figure out the deal with your weird and unlikely actions! I want to help, desperately wanting to restore the you i know of. But would you please at least care to help me help you???!!! It seems that I don't know you anymore. You may not realize it, but you've changed. Ano ba talagang nangyayari???!!!! Sagutin mo naman ako!!!

Or... maybe that's it. I really don't know you at all. I just thought I did.

You know, it's ironic. I don't show you how pissed off i am. and you don't even realize that you cause me to hurt. I know it's partly my fault, being the unexpressive person I am. But could you just be more aware of the people around you??!!! I'm really tired of all these. Everyday I just realize na hindi pala kita kilala. I feel defeated. But as i said. i would NEVER give up on you. Let's just let this fade away. I just wanted to release my frustration.

God, oh please.

ps. tnx mr brandon boyd, hannah and jj!

---------------
I wrote this earlier. I just realized how angry I was awhile ago. Ngayon mejo okay na. Pero it remains that way. Malungkot pa rin ako. But I'm trying really hard to be happy. I need to feel the warmth while I'm still young. That goes for all of you. Enjoy life na lang! Wag tumulad sa mga kadramahan ko sa buhay. XD

TO MATH OR NOT TO MATH

2004-09-23T22:16:00.000+08:00

I just came home from Rob. Joa, Adel, Ron, Bon, Rita, Syaza, Hanna and I watched Feng Shui. Although the movie didn't really scare the hell out of me, I commend it for being quite different from those past Pinoy horror flicks which were... quite... never mind. The movie trip was made more fun because I was with a number of my blockmates. Eight of us. Wow. That rarely happens. The past dates were just of fours, threes, twos or even ones. Haay. I just realized how much I miss those big-group hangouts. Glad we revived it just a while ago. Yippee! 'Twas fun! Sana maulit!

Anyway, before we watched the movie, Hanna, Bon, Ron and I ate at Chowking. And from our twenty-minute conversation, I learned a LOT. Those two boys shared some stuff that I never thought someone would share to me. I was happy to learn that I was entrusted with a good deal of their inner selves. Shux. Pero just as how nice the feeling was being a confidante of secrets, it also made me feel so ignorant and immature.

'Lam nyo yun, after the two boys have finished revealing some of their secrets, Hanna tells me "Miks, ikaw na naman mag-share", tapos i'm scanning my memory for some stuff, just to find out na wala akong ma-share? Ang hirap nun. It was then that I realized how childish and innocent I was back in high school. Ung tipong, ihahatid ako sa school, attend ako ng classes, eat at the canteen, talk to and joke with my friends, and susunduin from school. That's it. "Big" things that go my way were not about me, but of others. I'm just there to listen and empathize. I never experienced things first-hand. Malabo ba? Ang hirap i-explain. Let's just say na curious din ako what it's like to experience major crests and troughs in my life. It's like saying "how I wish na magka-spice naman ang life ko once in a while". Pero the irony is that, I'm not yet armed and ready for any "spice" that shall come my way. I'm contented the way things are right now. Weird noh? Perhaps it's God's way of telling me, there's a perfect time for everything. And today is not yet "spice" time. From this I know, when the "spices" come, I would then be ready and perfectly molded.

Don't say goodbye, say good night

2004-09-18T01:01:00.000+08:00

it's 12 in the morning and i am not yet in the right and relaxed mind to sleep. kakatapos lang ng hum 1 play namin kanina but may hangover pa rin. lam nyo ung feeling na natapos na ang isang problema, pero malungkot pa rin. ang weird ko talaga these past few days. nagkukunwaring masaya pero hindi pala. you may see me very happy, smiling and laughing as if i don't give a damn about life. i'm all but that. i feel really empty. every night i drive myself to study math100 or chem31, yet i do not get up from bed to do that. nakatunganga sa kisame for 4 hours, nag-iisip ng mga bagay-bagay na di naman dapat pinoproblema. and pagdating ko ng school saka ko nare-realize na sa apat na oras na 'yon ng pagmumuni-muni ay may nagawa na sana akong matino para sa acads ko. some may say i'm just pushing myself too hard. pero hindi eh. the problem is, i'm not even trying to push myself to strive hard. dammit. i loathe myself for being so bitchy and careless. i REALLY loathe myself for being a bitch who doesn't get her priorities straight.

kanina naalala ko i was angry at bon for no reason at all. nag-jojoke lang siya sa 'kin, at bigla na lang akong nagalit. i gave him the cold shoulder. ewan ko talaga kung bakit. pinahirapan ko pa siyang magsabi ng "sorry" sa akin. nakailang "sorry" kaya siya kanina? more than a hundred, i think. after a while i forgave him. but, tinanong ko sa sarili ko, WHAT IS THERE TO FORGIVE? anong naging kasalanan nya sa akin? wala naman. ang kapal ko talaga, pinahirapan ko pa ung tao, eh wala naman siyang nagawang masama sa akin. it was so very very insensitive of me to do that. nasa akin ang problema. matagal naman nyang ginagawa ung pagjojoke-joke sa akin, pero iba ung reaction ko kanina. it wasn't typical of me. kaya i can't forgive myself for the bitchy act. dinamay ko sa aking kalungkutan ang isang taong masaya. imagine, nag-sorry kasi inakala nyang nasa kanya ang problema pero nasa akin pala. damn. timing lang na siya ung kasama ko during my weird outburst of disappointment which should have been directed to myself.

kaya, to bon (if ever he comes across this shit-y blab of mine, i hope), i'm really very, very sorry. sorry na pinahirapan pa kita kanina with my cold treatment. i wasn't angry at you. drama queen lang talaga ako. kakaguilty. nahihiya tlga ako sa 'yo kanina pa. ako nga dapat hingi tawad. sorry sa cold shoulder. i'm really very sorry to the nth power.

----

hahay.

sad. i wanna talk but wala akong makausap. ang hirap mag-store ng problema sa loob. nakakabaliw. nababaliw na nga ako eh. tulong.

pero pano ko maso-solve problema ko, ni hindi ko alam kung ano un. o siguro ayaw ko lang harapin. ang hirap talaga. gusto kong umiyak. and after this, i think i'll shed a bucket of tears.

help me, o God.

BITCHY

2004-09-12T14:40:00.000+08:00

Your half-baked smile.
I'm charmed.
Your unfinished pat.
I'm comforted.
Your corny jokes.
I'm cheered up.
Your simple compliments.
I'm flattered.
Your numerous questions.
I feel needed.
Your weird habits.
I'm delighted.
Your ungentlemanly acts.
I shove off.
Your unpredictability.
I'm willing to decipher.
Your selfish ways.
I forget.
Your whole person.
I'm happy...
Your love.
It's not for me to have.
That's why.
Your friendship.
I'm satisfied.

The bitchy side of me has struck again.

WAT DA!

2004-08-24T12:41:00.000+08:00

Hehehehe... I'm in laughing mode today. Pwede bang mag-tagalog na lang dito? Hehehehe uli. Ansarap matulog nang matagal. 2 and a half hours akong nakahilata sa kama pagtapos ng math 100. (1) 2:30 pa susunod kong klase. (2) ayokong mag-aral para sa botany recitation. (3) wala akong pera. kaya natulog na lang ako. ang sarap ng buhay, parang walang problema. PARANG lang. ayoko na ring isipin. sobrang nakakatamad.

wala lang. post lang ako kasi stale na stale na ung last entry ko.

me katabi pala ako dito sa netopia na sobrang tapang ang amoy. foreynger kasi eh. pero tolerable pa naman. buti na lang at me taong namamagitan pa sa aming dalawa. hehehhe...

siya nga pala, magiging stale muna 'tong entry ko bago ako makakapag-update uli. kasi busy weeks ngaun and the next. EXAMS! hehehhe... tawanan na lamang ang problema. sana sipagin ako at sana pagsabihan ako ng aking konsyensya na gawin ang dapat gawin. hmph.

MAG-INGAT SA MANLOLOKO

2004-07-27T19:33:00.000+08:00

It was a rainy evening and my lola Lisa, lola Vera and I found ourselves still in Glorietta grounds. Taxi drivers were pouring in and out of the loading and unloading areas, but no good one would like to take us in and bring us to Sta. Mesa. It was, according to them, out of their route. My God! Can anybody please tell me, when did taxis have routes?! Or did they just mean, it was "out of their desired travelling areas"? Dammit.

So finally some EWE taxi opened its door and let us in. After knowing our destination, the good 40-something driver angrily yelled, "Dagdag ng 30 pesos ha". Pissed off, I hesitated to enter the tarnishing car, but my lolas were already inside. That's when I knew that I am off to a very bad ride. After a few seconds, I found my brows already connected and my wrinkles prominent.

I was eating my ice cream with no gusto and disgust. I lost my appetite on a biggie of rocky road dairy queen IC, knowing that i was on a ride by a driver of the evil class. Darn. I felt helpless. After a few moments, I tired myself of frowning. I wanted to believe that mamang taxi driver was not gonna do anything stupid aside from his asking a 30-peso "tip". So I let loose and tried to enjoy the pitter-pattering of the raindrops on the window pane.

As I was thinking about life and stuff, I allowed my eyes to wander around, but my gaze involuntarily landed on the taxi meter. It was blinking a "41.00", I observed. After what seemed like five measly seconds, it was then blinking a blasted "45.00". My blood pressure rose. Sh*t! The damn taxi driver was stepping on something and cheating us on our fare! And all that flowed out of my mouth were cursing words for the mama to hear and absorb. Yet I realized that my life was worth more than a trillion bucks, so I kept the cursing to minimum volume. Grrr. I have to observe further, because maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me. So I glued my stare to the meter. The man noticed how strict my monitoring was, and so he threw me angry glances. I threw him back my more flammable, eat-crap-you-creep stares. I was, in no way, going to submit to his dirty games. But the wise man has been in this kind of business for very long. And so he knew when to step on the cheating pedal. I realized that as I take my eyes off for a while to relieve them of stressful watching, it was good timing to maximize increase in his profit. Gifted with fast reflexes, I caught him letting the meter jump from 173 pesos to 180 pesos. Great trick, nah?! Feeding his ears curse words are just not enough. I gotta act for the benefit of his future customers. That is, if he doesn't go to jail before they even get in his taxi.

I hate the feeling 0f helplessness. If only someone as brave as my dad or any of my big-bodied uncles was with me, then I'd probably have the guts to get out of the taxi and report the abusado to the nearest police station. But I was with two lolas who were of dainty stature and build. I realized that it was best to keep my mouth shut for a while and do my act later, for our good. So I got the plate number and I am reporting that evil druid--today--before he victimizes many other citizens who work hard for their everyday taxi fare.

GOODNESS GRACIOUS

2004-07-22T19:56:00.000+08:00

count the tagihawats on my face and you'll realize how it's so much easier to count the stars in Manila's smog-covered sky. you know what i mean.

i've connected to and disconnected from the internet an infinite number of times after my so-yesterday entry, yet i never even once found time to visit this blog of mine. so where has the mika gone? i've been to hell and back, just dealing with the demands of school and all of its complicated attachments. i'm trampled upon by all those creepy plants and organic compounds, all in the plane of infinite limits. now here i am with my sandpaper face, still trying hard to squeeze out ideas from my abused mind. and this is just what i need to release the disappointment and depression i feel after taking my innumerable exams. so to speak, nothing's going right for me in school. period. the cruelty of acad life... now i can feel it to the bones. and it's all because of my excellent study habits. goodness.

but fortunately, positive thinking's got me holding on. i hope this lasts 'til the end of the sem. pray for my wandering soul.

putting that blah topic aside, now that i've taken all of this week's exams, i can now fully enjoy the pleasure of watching lotsa movies and eating boxes of yummy zapitsz! yippee! yippee! sarap...hehehe...the simple joys of life, and i'm deprived of it nowadays.

if only life was this easy as feasting our eyes on the silver screen and munching on a slice pepperoni and cheese, then i would not be as freakin'ly freaky as i am now. how i wish... oh how i really wish.

nonetheless, thank God for the life and the joys of being an iskolar ng bayan. thank God for His blessings which i still fail to see these days.

now, have i convinced myself that i'm really happy just to be alive? hmmmm... i'm still letting it sink in...

HAINAKU BOTANY LEC

2004-06-29T20:38:00.000+08:00

blast that bot lec
vines of which strangle my neck
damn soon i'll be dead.

this is how i feel about botany 119 lecture. to tell you the truth, i'm not looking forward to tuesdays and fridays because of the subject. what was once an interesting subject for me now becomes a loathed one. it's definitely not because of the topics, nor the classroom, nor my classmates. hell, it's because the topics are swinging back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. and frequently the discussion diverges into an unknown path, away from what should be taught to us. now i can't anymore figure where our lessons are heading to. and this pisses me so so much. consequently, i don't care to take notes nor listen to the lecture. and if this persists, my future is surely D-O-O-M-E-D. to whom shall i put the blame: to me or mrs. prof?

blast it! in whatever angle i examine the situation from, the accusing finger points to no one but me. the small voice inside my head says that i'd understand the lessons kung nanaisin ko, despite the teacher's incapacity to let me fully appreciate them. it's my way of looking at the situation that's upside down and more importantly, that's within control.

well yeah, but it's easier said than done.

after some time of thinking, i settle with this resolution. for the love of biology, i'll try to regain interest in botany 119. and soon, i hope to revive my dying passion of further learning about life. hope i succeed...

but still,

blast that bot lec
vines of which strangle my neck
damn soon i'll be dead.

A DAY WITH ONLY ME

2004-06-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

three days have passed, but the memories of my me-myself-and-i adventure still lingers in my mind. it was a warm wednesday afternoon after our pe class. my blockmates and i were supposed to grab a bite at some fastfood in robinsons. but i excused myself from the group, since there was something else i had to do. it was time to visit the Globe customer assistant and plead her to activate the WAP service she so long promised me. but wonder of wonders! the nasty girl gave me the i-don't-care, talk-to-the-hand signal. dammit. instinct told me to give her my it's-your-time-to-eat-dirt stare. as a professional customer, i placed a third-degree frown on my face, took one last angry look at the clerk, and trudged toward the door and out of Globe prison. so much for separating my self from the group.

at the time i felt so helpless. especially because i realized that i have no one to share my anger and disappointment with. i was hysterical and wanted to go home. but forgetful me left the key to the condo. double dammit. a teardrop was pushing its way out of my reddening eyes.

at dun ako nag-isip-isip at napaisip. i'm so used to having company all of the time, that when i'm left with only me, i feel so sad, insecure, and alone. that's when i felt the need to battle my dependence for company.

so on that same day, i faced the world alone.

to start off, i went around robinsons to find a nice pair of waterproof rubber shoes for the rainy season. then i went to the photoshop to make pa-picture, because copies of my 1x1 shot were heading for extinction. contented with the smile i gave the camera, i treated my self to good food at almon marina. as i sat there in my two-person table, a pang of loneliness hit me. so i instinctively grabbed my phone to call my mom or my dad. arrrgghh. but in the middle of the ringing, i dropped the call and placed the cellphone back in my pocket. i remembered that it was an "only me" day. so i looked down and started playing with my hands. then eventually my attention was no longer on me--it was now on the voices around. with my trusty pair of sharp ears, i eavesdropped. three women in their 50s were laughing hard as they were reminiscing their good ole days. two med students, a boy and a girl, who were probably best of friends, talked about the girl's rough relationship with her bf. in the near corner, a pair of businessmen were talking transactions and money. each of the table's conversations were interesting. there was one time when i couldn't help laughing at a joke the med student gave his friend. haha! it was actually fun watching people do their everyday stuff without being noticed.

after my interest on them has drained, i reflected on the things that matter in my life. could my life be that interesting as theirs? are there issues about me that i haven't come into terms with yet? how could i manage my time? are my parents, grandparents, and siblings alright? pano kaya ako mag-ddiet? kulang ba inorder kong pagkain? and the list just goes on and on... until i finished eating.

time passed by, and i can't believe that i've gone through the day alone, especially in a place where people around come in pairs and dozens and bundles. being with my self gave me the time to reflect on things i took for granted and never paid attention to when company was available.

but, come to think of it, i was not actually alone. God was walking with me and was keeping me company all throughout my stroll. and I know He'll always be. even when i have hundreds of friends to keep me company.

'til my next day with only me...=)

KAPOW

2004-06-15T16:58:00.000+08:00

I'm now facing the computer with nothing to write about. but updating my blog every now and then is a thing that i just need to do to accomplish my year2004 resolution. kaya i'm just typing away, typing away, typing away...shucks. wala akong masulat. it's like my life has become so dull. or am i just not digging deep to find something interesting in it? oh,well. maybe this is a sign that i should do something else other than walk to school, eat, study my lessons, and spend hours in front of the pc. in short, i should get a life. an interesting one, that is. hmmm...let's see...errrmmmm...arggghhh...i quit...for now.

i'm disappointed. 'til a next good entry...

SUPERHERO = GRAND QUESTOR

2004-06-06T08:28:00.000+08:00

Yes! The votes were in, and Hero Angeles was deemed as the Grand Questor of ABS-CBN's Star Circle Quest. Praise the voting public! Most especially praise the judges who finally came to their senses at the last hour. Two weeks before the finals night, I sadly gave in to the idea that Roxanne would bring home the bacon. But miracles of miracles, someone among the other four actually persevered in stealing it from her. And the man from UP I didn't think would succeed in doing so DID! I proved myself wrong. And I'm happy I did.

To Hero (if ever you find this), you're the man! Now you can eat Noche Buena that's champorado no more. Keep up the good work and praise the Lord!

God works in unpredictable ways...to Him, thanks Po for giving Hero the chance to live his dream and most especially to save his family from grueling poverty.

It was a good starting season for Star Circle Quest. I hope the line of young talents who would soon be joining the second would be as good and entertaining. 'Til my next SCQ post! =)

PS. And, oh yeah, Nash was really amazing! He'll go a long, long way. To Nash, you're the (small) man!

GOOD OLE DAYS

2004-05-24T07:39:00.000+08:00

I was scanning through my batchmate clang's debut pics in our yahoo! groups. It was an awesome sight to behold, having been held last week at Davao's coolest gimmick place, The Venue, plus the cooler fact that she used a to-the-max, kuha-ang-effects Matrix theme (no one thought of that before!). I wish that I could turn back the hands of time, freeze the moment, and see it for myself. Here are some of the pix I managed to snatch (except for the first one, w/c is from a forwarded msg). Heheheh...

Hanga talaga ako kay clang... creative! Hehehe...To clang (kung sakali mang napadaan ka sa nkatagong sulok na i2), happy happy 18th bday!=D)

Hahay. These pics (esp. the last one) bring back memories of high school... Familiar happy faces hungrily smiling for the camera... Those wacky personalities and their love for parties...

Simply those people who I shared rainy days and sunny days in Pisay with... My batchmates. I miss them.

Awww. I'm getting just a wee bit sentimental. One sign of homesickness. I just hope I get to hang around with them soon.

KAKAINGGIT

2004-05-19T11:33:00.001+08:00

Naku, nainggit na naman ako. I was reading sedricke's blog entry a while ago, and he mentioned about Fully Booked, a neat bookstore in Rockwell. I freakin'ly love books, and it's just sad that I couldn't even purchase a neat one nowadays. That is, of course, after my Da Vinci Code copy. Moreover, he mentioned about the one-book LOTR trilogy. I've saved money for months so that I could reward myself with a copy of it. But after months (also) of searching in every bookstore I could think of, I gave up and spent the money. Grrr... and now this ultimate bookstore has been introduced to me, the ignorant bookworm. I'm just so overwhelmed with even just the thought of all the books I want, laid out in front of my very eyes. Wowwwwie. I'm just hoping that I could save enough money to buy the books that'll tickle my fancy.

They seem to have every title you can think of, with different versions! (quoted from sed's entry, the line which keeps reverberating in my head until now...or until I go there and see for myself.)

I'm itching to go there. Next week, maybe? If I could wait that long.

to sed: thanks for introducing Fully Booked! =)

BLLLOOOGGGGGG

2004-05-17T15:30:00.000+08:00

bwahahahaha...sa sobrang katamaran ko, hindi ko nasagutan nang maayos ang chem exam kanina. sabi ko kagabi dapat 2 hours lang ang tulog ko. pero, dahil isa akong mabait na skolar ay inatupag ko muna ang pagtulog ng 8 hours. growing child pa kasi eh, sabi ng utak. oh well...wala na akong magagawa kundi tawanan na lamang ito. wala nang saysay ang magsisi pa. last na un eh. pinalampas ko pa. bwahahaha talaga...(kasabay ang pagtulo ng luha) hihintayin ko na lang ang results at mag-prepare para sa finals. (note to self: ayan ang nakuha mo sa kakaragnarok at kakapanood ng tv.)

Bukas ay mag-iispeech pa ako sa comm. di pa ako nag-ppractis. malamang ay magkakalat na naman ako sa harap ng aking mga kaklase kung pagkatapos nito ay mas aatupagin ko pa ang pagraragna at pag-ssurf. ngunit hindi na maari. hindi ko na 'to pwedeng palampasin. huling pagkakataon ko na. di pwedeng sayangin. kundi magsisisi na naman ako gaya ng kem exam kanina. (note to self: magpractis ka na pagtapos nito, kundi patay ka bukas. patay din ang grado mo sa comm.)

napunta na rin lang ako sa aking speech, ito ay tungkol sa BLOGGING. wla naman akong magagawa, kasi yun lang ang topic na inapprove ng aming professor sa listahan ko. poochoo. namromroblema ako kasi wala naman akong masabing matino tungkol dito. malamang 2 minuto lang ang itatagal ng speech ko. wag naman sana...please Lord tulungan nyo ako. (note to self: pinahihirapan mo ang sarili mo. hahay, ang buhay nga naman talaga oh. me paraan yan. mag-isip-isip ka.)

ayan, inaantok na naman ako. c pareng dindo kasi dumadaan eh, kaya ayan, umuulan ng todo. ang sarap ipikit ang mga mata at managinip sa aking higaan. kung pwede lang sana... kung pwede lang sana... pero hindi. tatapusin ko muna ang comm. bukas pwde na akong matulog hanggang sa magsawa.

AT LAST!

2004-05-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

Sheesh. Angelfire gave me a hard time fixing this blog of mine. At long last, I cleaned the mess up. Anyway, I'm quite happy today because tomorrow, election na. Meaning, walang pasok! Hehehehe... I just hope na hindi magkakagulo bukas.

Nothing much has happened to me these past few days. Maybe because I have been too busy with school--labs, reports, quizzes, weekly exams, etc. Quite ironic for the season, don't you think? Summer's supposed to mean rest, rest, and rest! And here I am, drowning my worn-out self with lessons I barely understand and give importance to. Chem for summer?! I mean, my course is Biology, and I'm hurriedly being fed with Chem! And Comm3...speech! It's been four years since I spoke good. Darn! I'll be soaped this week with speeches I am not even sure of accomplishing with flying colors. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Confidence, swallow me whole!

Crying over spilled milk won't do me any good, I know. It's just nice to release steam once in a while. Besides, classes are almost over. Exams na lang... (na lang?)

Oh well, I guess I know now what summer classes mean. And because of such stressful experience with hurried lessons and low grades, I vow not to kill myself with major subjects next summer.

Add to my disappointments, Michelle had been eliminated. I'm very, very disappointed. She was my bet, although I knew she would be removed pretty soon. Thought it was gonna be Errol who would take the fall this week. The judges proved me wrong. And George Huff (good ole Jorj) had also been dumped from American Idol earlier this week. All my bets have said goodbye. Arrgghhh...Wala na akong magagawa.

Oki, I'll keep this short. Buti na lang at nakapagsulat na ako. Hehehe. At last. I'm back!

And oh yeah, to Julz and Gis, thanks for visiting me! Fun, fun, fun! See you soon!

PARDON ME FOR MY DEAD LINKS

2004-05-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

Demmit! For the longest time, I didn't notice that my sidebar links were dead!Grrr... I wanna scream.

(The girl's mind goes blank.)

Now, what do I write about?! Demmit! I am running out of ideas and words! My creative juices are frozen. Suddenly, I don't know how to face my audience anymore... Sorry. Weird.

(The girl is disappointed.)

Just when I thought I'm ready to write once again. Bye. 'Til my hybernating brain goes back to work.

MEDIOCRITY and TATTOOS

2004-04-17T10:47:00.000+08:00

Yes, summer classes have begun. And even though it has only been 3 days, I find myself already lagging behind all those lessons and formulas. Talk about vacation hangover. Plus the fact that feared Ms. Alvarez took over our Chem lab class. It's just a good thing that I already had lab classes with her last sem, so it wouldn't surprise nor disappoint me if my lab skills grade would take its second fall. I am terrible at following lab rules and safety precautions, and unfortunately, she has an eagle's eye (make that 100 eagle's eyes??) for these. Bummer.

Looking at the brighter side of things, it's also a rare opportunity that we find a teacher who places us in the hardest situations so that we be well-prepared for future challenges. And this, I believe, is Ms. Alvarez's noble aim. Plus, strict a lab instructor that she is, she's a nice and approachable teacher. Kaya, I'm quite okay and happy na rin with the way things went, although I think lab sessions with Mr. Hao wouldn't be that much a pressure on me as it would be with her.
And, oh yeah, just got a henna tattoo. Hehe. And since I am vain, I've got a picture of it:

I'm not the type of person who is expected to put tattoos and those sort of stuff, but something inside tells me to do so. The desire to add a little spice to my life once in a while, perhaps? Maybe next time, I'm going to have my second earring hole in the right ear. Watcha think? Hehehe... That is, if my dad and mom permits me to do so.Ü

I'M TRANSFERRING...PERMANENTLY!

2004-04-07T09:57:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back! Blog City gives me so much headache because of its frequent downtime. Anyway, enjoy your stay! Hope to spot you in my future entries! Thanks! =)

TEMPLE TOUR

2004-03-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

What in the world have I eaten that drove me to finally write in this blog?! Ahhh!(a light bulb pops out of nowhere on top of my head) Was probably because of what the Sikh people fed me today! Yum yum! (?) Oh, yeah...we--blockmates, some block 2 friends, Mr. Pi-wi, and yours truly--had a fun temple tour for our field trip in History 2 awhile ago. It was such a fun, fun experience despite the constrained time we had. Here goes...

Having gotten out of bed at 6:15 still with large and swollen bags under my eyes, I hurriedly entered the water closet and turned the shower on for a quick (and I mean QUICK) bath. Worried that I would make a grand entrance at the bus with everyone darting sharp stares at me, I pulled out what I think was a good pair of jeans and shirt from my closet, carelessly dressed up, fixed my hair into a braid, clammed my things up in a bag, looked for that darn trip waiver, and "missed-call" Hannah--all done simultaneously. I ran for the elevator, my heart now beating at 500 per minute. I didn't even have the chance to grab something from the fridge. Tsk. So at 6:45 am, Hannah and I were off to the CAS gate while sipping doses of our favorite milk drink, compliments of good ole MiniStop. Good thing my hurrying paid off...no grand entrance transpired. Just a few exchanges of chika, laughter, and of course, food with my blockmates.

At around 7:20, we left for the Buddhist temple in Quezon City. I was surprised at how astoundingly beautiful the sacred place was inside. Countless fine statues of Buddha, the wooden, gold-plated altars, the smell of incense, the free books about Buddhism that filled my empty bag, the unexpectedly humorous "master", and check this out--the few handsome young monks who dwell in it. Insane, pero true.

We had our first merienda in the nice bus while we headed for our second destination: the Sikh temple. When we arrived, we had to wear the bandana our teacher told us to bring, out of respect for the Sikhs' belief of covering the hair. Moreover, we were asked to remove our shoes. The experience there was quite rare, since they were very generous to feed us with Indian food. The first was when their priest gave us a mashed flour-sugar-oil mixture, a counterpart of the round "Host" for Catholics. I tried consuming the mound in my hand, but quit at what was supposed to be my last gobble. Instead I gave it to my dear friend Rita who was kind enough to help me out. The food trip was far from through, since we were invited to their cafeteria, where every family dined after mass. I was hesitant to try, but I ate anyway. With Sam, Matet, Joa, and Rita as my "tray companions", I tried their bread (like shawarma dough), curry sauce (green and spicy), candy (sweet tubular orange lumpia wrappers deep-fried in oil), and pineapple juice (like pineapple, what else?!). It was not that bad, but I concluded that I was not made for their food, and their food was not made for me.

Up next was Quirino grandstand, where our bus parked for lunch. After eating, we were allowed to do whatever we wanted to do. And at that time Sam, Rita, Hannah and I wanted have a joy ride in a kalesa. So we did. We were toured around the roads leading to Luneta park neighborhood, and the site was cool. Lotsa couples lying in "banigs", enjoying each other's company. Haven't seen so many public displays of affection. Hehehe. Cool scene.

At 1 am, we rode for the Taoist temple. It was similar to the Buddhist temple, except that it was much more open and less isolated. We were allowed to take pictures, and the numerous camera shots were what I remembered most about this place, setting the lecture aside. Then at the bus, another sandwich-juice tandem was served for each of us. Haayy...what a food trip!

Last stop was the Hindu temple. Once again we were asked by the tour guide to wear bandanas, but once inside, the host told us it was not necessary. This is where we probably took most of our time. And it was probably because the host who entertained us was really into his lecture, that it took us long to finish. But in fairness, he was a very good speaker. The temple was similar to the Sikhs but was more organized and there were spectacular statues that awakened my interest. We also had fun pictures taken here.

Finally, the next destination was home. Haaayyy... The experience was truly fun and memorable. No questions asked, I have learned so much from this activity, although I've not mentioned them in the preceding paragraphs. If I did, I would have been making a novel in this blog. Basta, learning about the different religious beliefs of people all over the world was inexpicably great. It gave me a glimpse of the similarities and differences of philosophies governing people of different cultures. But one thing should always hold true: that we are all part of this circle of life, united and in harmony, whatever the religion, whatever the race.

How very exciting this experience was. Like that Subic field trip we had just a week ago. But I just couldn't put into words how joyful that was right now. Maybe in the next entries, when my mind is clearer.

So that's it for today! I'll be posting field trip pics soon!

Thank you, oh Lord, for the life!!!Ü

PICTURES FOR YOUR EYES

2004-02-23T01:04:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's 1 in the morning, yet am not yet so sleepy. I'm just so into this blogging thing right now. Quite tiring but gives me satisfaction. Anyway, I'm not yet ready to post a long entry. Just trying to figure out how to make my site good is very exhausting. Anyway, I'm here to post more pictures. Hope I could upload lots next time. Ciao!

Bio block 1 in Anna Flor's debut: (standing L-R) Lizer, Bon, Vince, Ron, Karl, Mark, Aqui, (sitting L-R) Hannah, Jean, me, Matet, Joa, Nikki, Karla, Cybill, and Sam.

Table mates (L-R): Hannah, Jean, me, Bon, Nikki, and Ron.

JUST TRYIN'

2004-02-18T19:25:00.000+08:00

I'm trying this out once again. Maybe I'll be transferring here. Blog City gives its users too limited features. Tsk. But I love my blog site there.

At the condo, before Anna Flor's debut. Dressing up time for all of us!

I WELCOME THY SELF

2004-02-09T14:59:00.000+08:00

Helloooo folks! Just dropped by to write my first ever blog entry here in my second home, Blogger! Actually, I'm depressed about Ragnarok server being down until this time. Because they promised us that maintenance works shall only be up to 12:30pm! Waaaahhh! But for the sake of good AURA for my first entry, I changed my mood. Hope this is a good start!

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